Grief
by gleeclubcaptains
Summary: Finn Hudson deals with life after losing his wife, high school sweetheart, and world.


Hope you guys enjoy this one shot;)

and follow me on instagram: gleeclubcaptains !

Disclaimer: I don't own glee.

He stares down at the wedding ring in his hands.

He'll never see her again. He'll never look into her brown eyes, He'll never hear her laugh. They'll never start the family they talked about. they'll never go to another broadway show with Kurt. He'll never wake up next to her.

They said he didn't have to speak.

So he sits in all black in the first row, starring at the casket. How could this happen? They don't prepare you for losing your wife at twenty six. They tell you that you'll grow old together. They're all liars. His mom rest her hand on his hand, and squeezes lightly.

"Are you okay?" She whispers, not wanting to talk over his father-in-law's talking about his daughter.

No. he's not okay. He'll never be okay. He's been in a relationship since he was sixteen with the love of his life. Now he has nothing, but he can't say that. So the words that have rolled off his tongue constantly the passed two days comes off.

"I'm fine." he then turns back, and looks at the casket. She's beautiful. She wouldn't want him sad. She would want him drumming away, with a smile on his face. Didn't she realize the smile was always because of her?

Everyone leaves the funeral. He goes back to their New York apartment. He doesn't feel like celebrating her life after the funeral. Her life should've lasted longer. It's not fair that the world takes people like her, and leaves people like him. He lays on the bed, and inhales her smell. It still smells like her hair. Just two days ago, the brown hair was spread around the pillow, as she smiled, and said good morning to him. Now he'll wake up alone forever. Like he said before, it's not fair.

He wakes up everyday. He goes to work. Life goes on without her.

His mom, Burt, and Kurt come by every weekend. He spends the holiday alone looking at pictures of her. He stares at pictures of her in his red letterman jacket, that drowned her body. He misses her, he always will. But he smiles now, and he hangs out with friends. It's been a year, and he's no longer lying when he says "I'm fine."

XxX

He sits in his chair in his classroom, and looks at her picture. She's cuddled into him, and is so small next to him. Her long brown hair flows, and she's smiling up at him.

He smiles at the picture. He knows she's in a better place. No longer suffering from cancer. It gives him hope that she's smiling even bigger than she is in this photo, wherever she is.

He looks at her picture everyday, until suddenly its been three years since she died. He's twenty nine now, and he starts to feel happy again. He still misses her laugh, and waking up to her. But he doesn't want to die anymore. He finds small reasons to live. Reasons that have led to him holding on. He has survived three years without the love of his life. He's gonna be okay again. He sort of already is.

XxX

He's at a bar with Puck.

He's staring at the label on his beer, when he feels a tap on his shoulder. He turns around and see's a girl in skinny jeans, and high heels.

"Want to dance?" She said smiling slightly.

"No, I'm good thanks." He says politely.

She walks away, he could tell she was sad. She walks gracefully, and his eyes may have lingered on her butt longer than he would've liked.

"Why didn't you just dance with her." Puck said turning towards him.

"I'm not ready —"

"She's been dead for three years man, move on."

"Shut up Puck, You don't understand. She broke up with me by dying."

"You need some action, your dick has to be unhealthy after three years of no action."

"My dick is fine, thanks for the concern."

"Just have fun, Finn. Dance with the small brunette."

"But she looks so much like—"

"I know, I know she looks like your dead wife, who we all went to high school with, and was annoying as fuck. She just wants one dance, Finn."

"Don't talk about her like that, I'll go dance with that girl if you shut up." Finn stands, and walks over to the table where the girl is with all her friends.

"If the dance is still available, I'd like to take you up on the offer." Finn says extending his hand to the brunette, who some how is even smaller than his wife. He shakes his head trying to get her out of his head. She smiles, and his breath hitches for a second. He's never seen teeth so white, and a face so happy. It's a beautiful relief, seeing pure happiness again. It causes him to smile, which is something he hasn't done one hundred percent genuinely in so long. She nods, and grabs his hand. He feels something at the contact of their hands joining together, but he brushes it off, it's probably only happening because she's the first girl he's touched like this in years.

She rest her head-on his chest, as they sway, and he doesn't think he's ever smiled this much.

He has his hand wrapped around her waist, and he's rubbing smooth circles on her skin. She looks up at him curiously, and grabs his hand from behind her back.

She looks up at him, looking sad and a little bitter. "Are you married?" She asks waving his hand which still has his wedding ring on it. His face falls, and she starts trying to get out of his grasp.

"I was married."

"Don't give me one of those separated for the time being lie, I've heard it all. Which sucks because you seemed cool, and I was totally gonna let you get to 2nd base, and —"

"My wife died of cancer." He says nodding slowly, as he tightens his grip on her.

"Oh my god, I'm so sorry. Want me to buy you dinner or something?" she stutters.

He chuckles lightly. "I'm okay, I had plenty of food made for me three years ago when she died." He grabbed the ring off his finger sliding it into his pocket.

"You don't have to take it off, I was being insensitive."

"It's cool really, so what do you do?" He said trying to change the subject.

She smiles excitedly as they fall back into their dance. "I'm a performer." His smile falls for a second, his wife dreamed of being a performer.

He chuckles softly hiding his slight sadness, "I stopped going to broadway shows, but I used to go all the time." He feels a little nauseous. She's so much like his wife. She's confident, and he can't help but get lost in her brown eyes.

"I'm a high school teacher."

"Oh how exciting! You get to influence our future generation."

He smiled back nodding slightly, trying to keep up with her.

"Sorry what's your name again? I'm not very good with names." She laughs slightly.

"You don't need to be polite, I haven't actually said my name so you couldn't of forgotten it."

"Oh, right." He says shrugging back.

"But I won't tell you my name, no fun in that."

"I'm Finn Hudson." She smiles up at him kissing his cheek.

"It is a pleasure to meet you." She says taking her lips off his cheek. "Although you just killed the mystery on your part. "

He chuckles blushing slightly from her lips pressed against his cheek. "Sorry. I just am sorta new to the dating game. I haven't been single since I was sixteen."

"It's okay. I'm gonna give you my number, and you can call me when you're ready." She smiles slightly. She grabs a napkin, and grabs a sharpie from her friend. She starts scribbling her number, and then she walks away. He looks down at the napkin she slipped into his hand, and reads the neat writing.

551-451-6322 xoxo

XxX

He calls her back a month later. After debating it for a while, he realizes moving on is good. Right now he's sitting at a coffee shop fidgeting nervously. She walks inside, and he smiles slightly at her. He stands hugging her, and pulling the chair open for her.

"You got here early, I tend to be very punctual and am rarely beaten to places."

"I guess I was kind of excited." He says blushing slightly. She grabs a coffee, and sips from it.

"I'm glad you called. I was starting to think you never would."

"I was just thinking about it for a while, and decided only good can come from it." He says smirking slightly.

"You're lucky, I might tell you my name after this date, but only because you are special." He blushes again, she makes him blush a lot. He likes it. They finish coffee, and she walks him home since it's on the way to her apartment. She asks to come inside, but he says no. He's not ready for another girl to come inside their house.

He walks inside alone, cursing himself for not kissing her. At least they scheduled a second date. He walks over to a picture of him on his wedding day. He smiles, and runs a finger over her picture. The long brown hair, the big brown eyes, the short body, he smiles at the nose she complained about, but he loved. He had a great time today, it was the best first date of his life. He feels so much guilt, and he hasn't even kissed the girl from the bar. He sets the picture down, and lays on his bed. He cries, but not because his wife died. He cries because he's forgetting her, and he's okay with it.

XxX

They're on their second date. They went to dinner, and he tried to guess her name, and failed every time. They walk through central park, and he doesn't think about his wife once. She smiled up at him, and his knees go weak. He runs his hand through her hair, as his arm wraps around her shoulders while they feed the ducks.

The date lasted hours, yet it feels like seconds. He doesn't even know this girl's name, yet he can't imagine living a day without her. She makes him smile so big, and it's like she's already found a place in his heart.

They're sitting on a bench, and she's smiling as she licks her vanilla ice cream. She looks at his lips, and extending a finger towards them. "You have some chocolate on your lip."

She leans forward, and crashes her lips against his softly. He kisses back instinctively. He feels this spark, this tether, he can't explain it. All he knows is he never wants to stop kissing her. She pulls away, and smiles slightly, before murmuring,

"My name is _Rachel Berry._ " against his lips.

XxX

They're watching a movie, and she's lying on his chest, while he runs a hand up, and down her back. They've been boyfriend and girlfriend for two months, and he doesn't think he's stopped smiling once. He watches as her eye, fall on the picture lying on his coffee table.

"What was her name?" She asked looking up at him.

"Stef." He says letting out a sigh, sometimes it still hurts.

"I'm really sorry."

"Don't be, you didn't start the spread of cancer. If anything I owe you, for making me happy again."

She blushes before saying, "You're so cheesy." He starts tickling her sides, while she laughs out collapsing back onto him. She kisses softly.

"Wanna go to the bedroom?" She looks at him surprised, she has made it pretty clear that she was willing to sleep with him. But now he feels ready. She nods her head yes, as he carries her to his room. And as she yells out his name, and he groans louder than ever before, while inside of her. He feels a tear slide down his face.

Finn Hudson is in _love_ , and happy.

XxX

Finn Hudson gets a family. He gets a broadway star, who's voice he's heard for years now. He gets someone to wake up to every morning. He'll always love Stef, and he knows she's watching over him. His love for Rachel is different though. He made kids with Rachel. He got a forever with Rachel. Finn looks around his house, it's filled with pictures of his family, and him and Rachel. There's one on the wall of Stef, wrapped in his letterman jacket. Somethings will never change. Although Finn is defiantly not complaining about the things that did change, as his eyes fall upon a picture of Rachel and him on their wedding day,

and his face breaks out into the _biggest_ of smiles.

 **XxX**

 **Well that's the end! Sorry if I scared you with all the Finn moving on from Rachel stuff! As if I'd ever write that omg. This is dedicated to leaandcory aka stef, thanks for playing the dead wife! Love you!**


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